A New Year

We have never really done anything big for New Years, but I think I like it that way. Up until this year, we have always spend that night at Ryan's parents house playing games and eating junk food. This year we had the Kanooth's over for homemade pizza, games, and sparkling cider. Leif (who is doing his medical residency) had to be to work at 6am the next morning, so they only stayed until 9pm. It was still fun to have dinner and play for a bit. After they left Ryan and I watched a movie and hung out until we went to bed at 1am.

Ryan had today off of work too. Since he has started his new job, we haven't been able to spend very much time with him. Even when he is not out-of-town, he often has to stay late at work. This holiday time has been bliss! Ryan finished his last trip the first week of December. And although he had to work this week and last week, the office was slow and he was able to come home early or at least by 6pm. Last night Cannon went to bed at 7pm. Ryan and I just talked on the couch for three hours! It was just what I needed to reconnect with him.

Today I am feeling a bit sentimental. Instead of talking about our goals for this coming year, I am going talk about the things I love about Ryan and Cannon.

Ryan is a good match for me because he balances me. When I am feeling irrational and scattered, he is clam and organized. We sometimes joke that he is a better housekeeper than I am. He can watch Cannon and keep the house clean at the same time. He doesn't mind doing housework and has admitted that he finds doing the laundry relaxing (it's now his eternal chore). When I am feeling stressed and neglect the house duties, he will pick of the slack without EVER complaining. Even though I am much better at the details in housework and cleaning, he is much better at the overall keeping things picked-up. I was never one to talk about my feelings and problems (it's something I'm working on), but I have learned that I can talk to Ryan. He is a good listener and will often say just exactly the thing I need to hear. He really is my best friend. I love that we think the same random things are funny. We can agree on most things or at least find a good compromise. Ryan has so much faith and always keeps a good perspective of things. Again, when I am feeling that life is hard or crazy, he is good at reminding me what's important. I love that he still finds me utterly attractive even when I look gross or don't feel very pretty. Ryan is very smart. He has intelligence in things that I don't understand, so sometimes he seems like a genius to me. I call him a scriptorian, although he won't admit to being one. I can tell him I need a scripture on a certain subject and he knows immediately where to look. This is very helpful to him as the gospel doctrine instructor at church. I like to watch Ryan learn. He wants to better himself and recognizes the need to grow. It has been especially fun since he has started his new job. He has found so much joy in learning and I love to see him happy. Ryan is patient and willing to go along with my ideas. We usually aren't very spontaneous, but if I ever wanted to be he would be right there with me. Ryan is a really good gift-giver. He has bought things for me that I never thought of, but that I have loved. Ryan is a great husband and father, I love him!

Oh Cannon, there's so much I can say about him! Cannon amazes me. When I truly listen to and observe him, instead of trying to push my own ideas on him, he tells me what he really needs at that moment. He teaches me patience. He teaches me forgiveness. I love to watch him play. I love to watch him invent new ways of playing and to work out things in his play. I have learned so much about him just by watching him. Cannon has a lot of energy and curiosity, but he can also be very calm and quiet. Ordinarily I am not very social, but because of Cannon I have to be and I am grateful for that. He needs to have time with friends and he likes to interact with other people. Cannon is balanced and doesn't have extremes with things. From time to time problems arise, but with love and patience they always get resolved. He can be flexible, but will let me know when he has had enough of something. Cannon is learning to be gentle and kind to people and animals. I have witnessed him show tenderness to his friends and animals. That always makes my mommy heart happy. He doesn't like it when people are unhappy. He doesn't like it when he is unhappy. Ryan and I don't "fight" in front of him (we don't really fight all that often anyway), but occasionally we have argued with Cannon around and it immediately stresses him out. When it's quiet again he asks me if I am happy and then that makes me feel bad that I made him feel that way. Ryan and I try show appropriate affection for each other in front of him. I can tell that when Ryan and I hug, hold hands, or kiss that it makes Cannon feel secure. We do a family hug with Cannon in the middle and call it a "Cannon sandwich." He loves it and it's a way that we all feel connected to each other. When people are upset I have seen him try to help them feel better. He might offer them a toy or try to talk to them. Cannon loves to make people laugh. Recently he has started making faces in an attempt to get me to laugh. I have to admit that it works every time! All he has to do is smile and it will melt you. I think that every mother worries about her parenting and has doubts that she has done the right thing. I know that I don't always make the right choice (even if I know what the right thing to do is), but I so very much appreciate the resiliency in him and how quick he is to forgive me when I apologize. Cannon has been a huge blessing in our life and everyday I am so grateful to have him. I love everything about him. Sometimes I tell him, "Cannon, I love you just the way you are." He always smiles when I say that. I should tell him that more often.

How blessed I am!



A new year and a new haircut. I only cut the sides and the back, but left the magnificent curls on top.