In Play We Trust

I"m a big advocate of letting your child play the way he wants to without much formal direction from the parent.  One thing I learned when I worked at the children's hospital was that children know what they need to do to heal.  Meaning, that when kids came to play in the playroom we always let them decide what they wanted to play with and how they wanted to play it (so long as it was not hurting themselves or anyone or destroying things).  Because play is a child's work and their way to sort out the hurt and the crazy and the scary and the confusing and the fun and their ideas and so forth.

I carried this idea into my home once Cannon was born.  I leave things open-ended for him and I usually don't suggest ways for him to play, he gets to decide that.  Last year I noticed that he played with his trains the same way every day.  He would drive them around the edge of the coffee table, line them all up, and drive them off the edge.  Then he would drive them up on the TV stand (which was a little taller) and do the same thing.  This lasted for about four or five months.  I wondered why he played like that and wondered what could he possibly be "learning" from that sort of play.  I was tempted to interfere, but I never did.  I just stayed close by and watched.  At that point in his life he had pretty little impulse control, like most other two-year-olds, but his somehow seemed a little bit worse.

A few months ago I learned that when children drive their cars/trains on tracks and in lines, that helps them learn impulse control.  That was one of those "Aha" moments for me!  I am so glad that I let Cannon play the way he wanted to because he instinctively knew what he needed to work on.  And I have to say that Cannon's impulse control is so much more improved!

Last story.

Cannon has two trains named Bash and Dash (actually *had*-we left them and we've waiting for them to be sent back to us).  I guess they're like twins, but Dash is orange and Bash is grey.  When Cannon first got them he learned their names and could tell them apart.  Then a little while later he mixed up their names.  I knew he could tell them apart and it seemed like he was just doing it on purpose, but I didn't know why.  I SO wanted to correct him, but I would just tell him, "Okay."  Yesterday we were playing together and he said that he was Bash and I was Dash.  He is always Bash, because in real life he likes to bash things.  Then he said, "You are grey and I am orange."  And then I finally realized why he switched their names.  Bash is his favorite name and orange is his favorite color, so logically they must go together!  Aha! Once again, I'm glad that I let things be and it was really fulfilling to have that insight into his mind.